You got a friend / Jim Hudson (david cody's grandpa )
Austin, if you and David Cody get togather, we would have sunshine everyday. You two have a lot in common, as a matter of fact a lot of you kids in camp HEAVEN have a lot in common. I use to dislike computers, but now I think they are the best things that ever came along. I can write a letter to Heaven and it gets there. I know because I ask David Cody to send me some sunshine and he gets Austin, they smile at each other and we get the sunshine. On a really bright day all you kids are smiling i'm sure. Austin you keep smiling for your folks, and Dave you keep smiling for grandpa. Close
(((((Denise))))) Austin's "first" Angelversary / John Plourde (Bereaved Father, Friend )
My Dearest Friend, (((((Denise))))), With tears in my eyes, I am reaching out to you in your dark day of need. I know that your wonderful son Austin’s “first” angelversary tomorrow will be so horrible and difficult on you. It is not RATIONAL that we have to bury our children! I wish there was an explanation of why and that we had the answers for everything so horrible that has happened in our lives. Your wonderful, loving son Austin will forever be in your heart and that part of your life that brought you the greatest joy and happiness and then the most devastating and painful heartache that anyone could EVER experience. I know that the horrible want and need to hold your beloved son consumes your entire being, the WHYS? NEVER stop and the pain cuts down to your soul. Our world will NEVER be RIGHTED; our hearts will NEVER be HEALED, but as difficult as this journey is, and as much as we DON’T want to…we WILL GO ON! The pain that we feel after the death of our child is not the pain from GRIEF, it is the pain of all the LOVE that we have for our child and that child is no longer in our lives to LOVE…DAMN, It HURTS! Denise, PLEASE, just HOLD on and YELL, SCREAM, PUNCH…something soft preferably…ALL YOU WANT!!! I UNDERSTAND, I CARE and together, we will WALK this JOURNEY… HAND-IN-HAND and HEART-TO-HEART.
In my thoughts and prayers, John-Danielle Marie’s Daddy
I'm sorry / Heather Blythe (Bradens Mom )
I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my son when he was 13 to this "game". I can so relate to the feeling of lonleyness and desperation that is part of your life now. So many people have told me that it gets easier over time and I guess in a way thats true. Its been almost three years since I lost my son and I still cry but you learn to push it back on a daily basis and put one foot in front of the other and go on for the others in your life. The hardest part is being able to let them go and move forward in your life without feeling you have left them behind. What we have to remember is that we will never leave them behind, they were a wonderful part of us and our sons will always be a part of us, they will travel with us in our hearts and our memories. Some day when we think of our sons those memories will bring a warmth and comfort and we will truley know how blessed we were to have them in our lives for the short time god allowed us to. Just remember your are stronger than you know, and when people ask if you are ok, tell them the truth "no but I will be" I live in AZ, If you ever need to talk with someone who shares this saddness e-mail me. Again I'm sorry for loss. Close
My Grandson / Carole Bruckner (Austins Grandma )
know denise, we miss him to ,think of him every day . i know its very bad for you because you guys were together all the time.i wish i could say something that would make things better, but looking forward to seeing him again in the new system is the hope we have. i know i say that alot and i know you know that to. but that is the hope that i think of every day to help me to get though every day. i know that day of his death is coming up.the only thing i can think of that might help is to keep busy that day .go visit people dont stay home alone. i will think about him and all the good things i remember about him. maybe we can e-mail and talk about him and remember him that way. i know the things im saying will never take the pain away.and im not a writer able to say the right things, i try to help and only say what i belive and feel. i know he"s in jehovahs memory and i know we will see him again, i know nobody knows when , but the fact is it will happen. and knowing that gives us a hope.i know it doesnt take the pain away now,but it heps me to get though the pain. i will always hurt for his death.i will always think of him, but this hope to see him again keeps me going. you are my child to and i wish i could just say something to make this go away,to make your pain go away because when you hurt a mother always ache,s for her child no matter how old they are. but there is no magic words ,no magic wands, so we all have to do the best we can and continue until this will be corrected by the only one who can and will Jehovah. he will make this right denise. you can call me any time my cell works here. i hope maybe i help a little i hope i dont make thing worse. i love you please take care come and see us in hawaii. love mom and dad
My Son / Denise Gillentine-Bruckner (Austins mom )
each day that your gone Austin, only seems to get harder. I just miss you more and more every day. The emptiness and the pain inside of me cannot be expalined or even imagined. The burning and stabing feeling in my heart is constant it never goes away. My longing to see you, to hold you, to touch you, to hear your vioce and see your smile, its so painfull. I am nothing now. i am alone. Each day that I awaken, I dont know what to do with it. I pray everyday that something will happen to me and i will die. I live in suffering everyday, I am dead yet still breathing. If only god would be so kind as to grant me my wish, and I could stop breathing to. Please. I need my son. I cant live without him. I cant live like this. Close
Your son is also beautiful / Sue McCarthy
Denise- Thank you for visiting Kyle's website. I browsed thru Austin's pictures and he was also a beautiful boy! In some pictures, he resembled Kyle so much, especially when he was young. Kyle also had dark curly hair when he was little. It is so obvious, you and he were so close. Such a tragedy that the Choking Game took our little boys lives. I only know that someday, we will all be reunited again and that is about the only thing keeping me sane. I will keep you and Austin in my prayers, especially with the 1 year anniversary approaching knowing how hard this is for you. I know our boys are together in Heaven and are watching over us always. Sending my hugs your way- Sue (Kyle's Mom) Close
Holiday wishes / Carole Mom To Angel Heather Bates (connected by angels )Read >>
Holiday wishes / Carole Mom To Angel Heather Bates (connected by angels ) Close
For Denise...Ask My Mom How She Is... / John Plourde (Friend, Bereaved Father )Read >>
For Denise...Ask My Mom How She Is... / John Plourde (Friend, Bereaved Father )
Denise, I saw this beautiful poem and thought that it might bring you some comfort.
Ask My Mom How She Is (unknown)
My Mom, she tells a lot of lies, She never did before But from now until she dies, She'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is And because she can't explain, She will tell a little lie because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how she is, She'll say "I'm alright." If that's the truth, then tell me, why does she cry each night ?
Ask my Mom how she is She seems to cope so well, She didn't have a choice you see, Nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mom how she is, "I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping." For God's sake Mom, just tell the truth, Just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life I loved her all of mine. But if you ask her how she is, She'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven I cannot hug from here. If she lies to you don't listen Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again, We'll smile and I'll be bold. I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mom, With all the lies you told!"
Happy Holidays / Carole Mom To Angel ~Heahter Bates (friend) Close
Sweet Austin, May you and your family... / Carole Mom To Angel ~Heather Bates Read >>
Sweet Austin, May you and your family... / Carole Mom To Angel ~Heather Bates Close
I Miss You So Much....Our prayers are with your mom / Anje Walfoort (Friend)Read >>
I Miss You So Much....Our prayers are with your mom / Anje Walfoort (Friend)
Austin I was just sitting here thinking about you. I have some pictures of you from football. I haven't talked to your mom in a while now and I miss her a lot. I use to talk to her every day. I know she misses you so much. Please God, if there is a way to bring her some peace. She really needs it. Austin, we miss you. You left such an impression on so many people. Your smile will always be in my memories. Thank you for giving us everything that you did while you were here. We will carry your memories on with the stories we tell. Close
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUSTIN! / SHARI ANGEL MOM TO YANNICK WHITEHEAD (ANGEL FRIEND )
IN SWEET LOVING MEMORY OF A SWEET LOVING BOY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR ANGEL!
IN MEMORY OF AUSTIN;
TIME HAS PASSED, WITH SADDNESS AND GRIEF. WITH ONLY SWEET MEMORIES OF YOU AND DISBELIEF. ON HOW HOPES AND DREAMS, CAN SUDDENLY SLIP AWAY, IN JUST ONE MOMENT, IN JUST ONE DAY. A PEN AND PAPER IS ALL I HAVE, TO SAY TO YOU "GOODBYE" TO THANK YOU FOR ALL THE JOY AND LOVE YOU BROUGHT INTO MY LIFE. I HOPE YOUR JOURNEY, HAS BEEN SAFE, AND YOUR LOVING SPIRIT CONTINUES TO GROW, IN THE EMBRACE OF ANGELS AND GOD'S GRACE, I LOVE YOU AUSTIN, MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
Keep spreading your word. / Tina Hayes
I just came across your website one day and subscribed to your blog. I just cry for you every time I read your blogs and wish that even though I do not know you, I could help ease your pain. I have never reached out to someone like this that I don't even know but I feel like every word that you read from all these people somehow helps you through each day knowing that so many people in this world that really truely feel your sorrow and want you to be happy again. Your son seemed like a very sweet, caring and outgoing person and I am so sorry you had to lose him. You keep spreading the word about this choking game and maybe, just maybe there will be lives spared knowing of the tragedy you've had to deal with.
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